Lately, I’ve seen some social media posts by friends that I’ve been itching to respond to. But I haven’t dared. It’s because I’m longing to add nuance and social media does not lend itself to nuanced conversations. Usually, the conversations I see online about controversial topics boil down to a share of a provocative post, a chorus of agreement from the like-minded, some dissenting responses (often angry), and then a philosophical battle between two extremes that often includes personal attacks.
Given that dynamic, it takes courage to take a stand on anything controversial. And I have to honour the courage of everyone who does. I just don’t have a lot of faith in social media platforms as a space where conversations across divides can be productive. More often than not, we wind up arguing there in a way that leaves us more defensive of our own positions and less willing to give any credence to the arguments of those who disagree. After all, when you’re certain you’re right, why would you want to have a conversation across a divide in the first place? You want them to hear you, to understand why they are wrong and you are right. And vice versa. So, instead of a conversation, we wind up with two monologues being shouted at each other. Each side develops an established narrative, and tremendous pressure to stick to it. If you veer from the narrative, if you admit the other side has a point, you risk being branded as a traitor for giving ammunition to your enemies.
The alienation that results is particularly pronounced on social media, where we are often disagreeing with people we don’t personally know. We don’t see them as the neighbours who shoveled our walk the other day or brought us a plate of goodies last night. We see them as faceless entities who represent positions that we have no reason to trust. So, we discount and disdain them instead of loving them and giving them the benefit of any doubt. For that reason and many others, social media does not lend itself to peacemaking conversations that could transform conflict into collaboration. That's not to say that we can't have such conversations there with the right approach and a willingness to wade through the vitriol; just that it's difficult.
A Play Would Be Better
But there is a place where such transformative conversations could be happening more naturally. Yes, you guessed it. I’m talking about the stage. How would that look? Let me illustrate with a controversy that recently showed up on my social media feed.
Last week, a friend of mine posted a link to this trailer for the documentary, Detrans, about the painful experiences of a number of people who had sex reassignment surgery only to deeply regret it later and eventually to transition back. The information is powerfully presented, devastating and controversial. It's been described by the president of Human Rights Campaign as “hate-filled propaganda” that “is not just immoral – it’s dangerous" because only about one percent of those who transition come to regret it. (Regret estimates actually range from 1-30% according to this article).
Just a week or two earlier, I had seen an Instagram post on this topic from my favourite news source, Tangle News. This summarized the personal reflections of a religious, conservative transgender man who is a physician, husband and father, He was raised as a girl and completed a gender transition as a junior in college. His take is much more nuanced than the documentary and well worth reading because I can't give it justice in this post.
A Christmas Musical Building Peace on Trans Issues
Since considering both posts along with experiences I've heard from others, I’ve been thinking how awesome it would be to create a musical with a dual aim to inspire audiences and build peace about trans issues. Because it's Christmas and I am myself a Christian, what comes to my mind is a Christmas musical coming from a Christian perspective.
I'm going to map out a few ideas in an effort to invite you along on an exploration of the possibilities.
I imagine the opening scene in a shopping mall on Black Friday. Everyone is singing SEASON OF GOODWILL with the hook:
TIS THE SEASON OF GOODWILL AND GIVING
WHEN STRANGERS AREN'T STRANGERS, BUT FRIENDS. The song is occasionally interrupted by shoppers fighting over in-demand items.
.
BRIANNA enters a specialty shop where GRACE is at the counter.
BRIANNA: Oh, a friendly face! It's a zoo out there and I've been getting some hate.
GRACE: Who could hate you?
BRIANNA: Well, it's because I'm distributing this petition to stop medical malpractice on transgender teens.
GRACE: Oh.
BRIANNA: After your comment last Sunday, about sex change surgery being a form of self harm, I figure it's okay to bring this by here, though.
GRACE: Actually, it was the pastor who called it self harm. I said that for some people, it may be a preferable form of self harm than the alternative. But I didn't get a chance to explain.
BRIANNA: Like suicide?
GRACE: Definitely that. Self loathing?
BRIANNA: I love how open you are! Someday, we need a good long talk about this. In the meantime, can I leave a petition with you?
GRACE: I'm sorry, Brianna. I know how kind you are and why you're doing this. But I have a trans employee who's under 18. I can't have something like this staring them in the face all day.
BRIANNA: I understand. (Gathers her courage). I'd better get back out there. (Leaves the store and is immediately accosted by two shoppers).
SHOPPER: Are you the hater who's handing out anti-trans propaganda?
BRIANNA: No, no! It isn't anti-trans.
Chorus of "SEASON OF GOODWILL AND GIVING" repeats as BRIANNA exits followed by shoppers. MADISON enters GRACE's shop with a couple bags on her arm.
MADISON: You almost ready for your lunch break.
GRACE: In about 15 minutes.
MADISON: Good. That gives me time to visit the ladies room.
GRACE: Careful in there. Ashley got challenged today. You should pass though.
MADISON: Seriously? But it's Christmas!
GRACE: It's Black Friday.
MADISON begins singing WHEN WILL THERE BE PEACE ON EARTH then exits for the bathroom. BRIANNA enters and picks up the song on the other side of the stage. This segues into TRIO singing O HOLY NIGHT in the food court, where BRIANNA orders lunch. BRIANNA drifts toward TRIO. MADISON enters during the final verse and winds up beside her, both taking comfort from the song. They notice each other, smile, then GRACE enters and introduces them to each other as two of her favourite women in the world.
That's the end of my fleshed out ideas. Here's a general idea of how the main story could play out in the rest of the show.
That afternoon, Madison shows up for her first shift volunteering at a women’s shelter. Brianna is the person training her.
They build a solid friendship helping the families at the shelter prepare for a Christmas Pageant. Then some activists arrive to protest the shelter’s employment of a supervisor who is transphobic. They are friends of Madison's and shocked to see her working there. She is stunned that they think there’s anything to protest here. They reveal that Brianna is leading a lobby to ban gender-affirming care for patients under the age of 18. Brianna learns that that this is Madison's first Christmas since transitioning to female.
The friendship is initially shaken. But as they continue to work on the Christmas pageant and to help the women and families they serve, they remember all the reasons they have come to trust each other. Eventually, they each share their stories.
Brianna’s best childhood friend began to question her gender identity in her teens, after a series of traumatic experiences. She sought medical help and got referred to doctors who told her parents that if they didn't want their daughter to die by suicide, they needed to support her in becoming their son. The doctors didn't even checking on whether she’d seen a psychiatrist. She transitioned, only to bitterly regret it later to the point of actually becoming suicidal. Then, at a Christmas program to which Brianna had invited her now-male friend, he experienced a personal witness of his preciousness to God and that he was born in the body God intended. This emboldened him to get the mental health care he needed, to detransition back to female, and to find peace in her life. Brianna is determined to prevent the medical malpractice that harmed her friend from happening to anyone else.
Madison felt like a girl trapped in a boy's body for her entire life. This caused great concern to a religious family who insisted on male pronouns and believed that he must be possessed by a female demon. He underwent counselling by his pastor and several attempts to exorcise the demon. He learned to hide his feelings, of which he had become deeply ashamed. Then puberty started, his distress skyrocketed, and he made a plan to end his life. He was on the point of carrying it out when he was suddenly overwhelmed by a sense of God’s love, which felt like love for a daughter rather than love for a son. And that gave him strength to hold on and cope with male pronouns, puberty, and masculine expectations. It also gave her courage to go ahead and transition as soon as she left her parents’ home, even though she knew she would be disowned.
Both women come to understand the other’s story and the faith at its root. Brianna puts her petition on hold until they can gather key people who represent both sides of the issue to discuss it honestly and searchingly, and figure out an approach that honours everybody's needs.
More immediately, Brianna and Madison realize they have been harbouring hatred towards people who’ve hurt them or their loved ones. Together, they write a promise to put away their enmity towards others, and a list of names of people whose offences they are asking God to forgive.
At the end of their Christmas pageant, everyone is invited to bring their own gift to the baby Jesus. Brianna and Madison bring a wrapped box (containing their promise and the list of names) to the manger. They lay it down as the entire cast sings: “Truly He taught us to love one another/ His law is love and His Gospel is Peace/ Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother/ And in His name, all oppression shall cease.”
Then the audience is invited to join in singing the final words of O Holy Night: “Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we/ Let all within us Praise His Holy name/ Christ is the Lord; O praise His name forever!/ His power and glory evermore proclaim/ His power and glory evermore proclaim.”
This was fun to write. How challenging would it be to bring into reality? Ideally, it would be written as a collaboration between a cis and a trans individual, both Christian and with differing ideas about the mutability of gender in God's plan for His children.
Could they give each other permission to have and write about deeply opposing perspectives? How would they do this?
How would the production team make cast and crew from various perspectives welcome and safe? What would they do about change rooms? Would people come to such a production? Would protestors?
How could the story be transposed for other faith traditions? What do your heart and your head say about a production like this? Let's make space for each other right here to share our thoughts honestly and respectfully.
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